Thursday, 13 March 2008

'I've just received this meemo!'

It's the pointless craze that's sweeping the globe! Take the book you're currently reading, flip through it to page 123, ignore the first three lines and bung down the subsequent five. Someone somewhere is cackling with evil glee at the silly men and women running around fulfilling this pointless task that he (oh, it'll be a he all right) initiated. And thanks to DJ and noted Brothers MacGregor fan Matthew Rudd, it's my turn to continue the cosmic ballet.

Funnily enough, most of the books I've been reading lately don't even have a page 123 (there are perfectly innocent reasons for this, but that's for another time). Fortunately the one I'm currently on has, so let's see here:

'It used to be a common practice for some agents to keep their clients' fees until the actor came raging into the office pleading starvation. Whereupon the books would be examined, and with a "Hello, what's this?", the agent would find a record of payment. Salaries are passed on immediately nowadays, but repeat fees are still liable to do a stint in a W1 deposit account before reaching the actor.
'But money doesn't actually mean very much to me to be honest. As long as I can buy my booze and fags and pay my mortgage and have a week or two on Lesbos and a Winterbreak and the odd dinn at L'Escargot then I'm happy.'

Well, there you have it. One person will guess what book that is instantly, the rest will just back away smiling nervously. And now I'm supposed to pass the metaphorical baton onto two other poor saps, but everyone seems to have done this already apart from dapper gadabout Steve Berry and the protean genius behind Digi-Creamguide. So, er, them then.
[Edited as I cocked it up first time round. Not, of course, that it matters, but in for a penny and that.]

4 comments:

FeedbackReport said...

I know this so well that I think it's only fair I disqualify myself. And hey - that's the original edition of it too!

John Soanes said...

Is that the terrific 'I, An Actor' by noted thesp Nicholas Craig? I'd like to think so...
(Came here via the Urban Woo)
J

Phil Norman said...

It is indeed, John! Brilliant, glad someone else has heard of this book. (Which, by the way, is ace and should be in every household in the country.)

John Soanes said...

Agree completely, it's a great book (in either incarnation). I used to love the little 10-min shows on BBC2(?) starring Craig, though I did see that he occasionally pops up on BBC4 doing one-off shows.
I like the quote on the back of my copy, purportedly from The Stage: "Ha bloody ha"!
J