Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Christmas DVD Preview 2008 Part One

Let's Make An Aimless Noise Right Here!: Twenty five years of arts-funded dustbin banging.

RRP: $13.99

Stomp, the internationally famous troupe of tiresomely eager-looking DIY percussionists, have been making a vaguely rhythmic noise on amusingly prosaic bits of waste metal for a quarter of a century, under various aliases so as to avoid detection. To celebrate this year's announcement that Stomp's act will not only be opening the 2012 Olympics Game, but will in fact be replacing them, and everything else, on British television for the entire fortnight, this DVD brings together for the first time every televisual appearance of the noisome crew's various incarnations.


Pookiesnackenburger's dustbin-tapping Heineken ad!

Every awards ceremony appearance Stomp have made to the end of 2006, which at last count was 263, though it feels like about 739. Bonus disc includes footage of ceremony audience looking nonplussed, bored, restless, in pain etc.

Yvette Fielding gamely joining in with a couple of kids banging plastic pipes with wooden spoons as Urban Strawberry Lunch take over the Blue Peter studio! For five minutes!

Every Yes-No People appearance on Andrea Arnold's slightly odd lunchtime eco-warrior magazine A Beetle Called Derek!

Ben Elton making that gag about someone nicking all the Yes-No People's instruments on Saturday Live!

The titles to late, lamented proto-Word Magazine Channel Four music show Wired, featuring the percussive stylings of the Yes-No People. And to enable you to enjoy the music better, we've handily blanked out all those distracting computer graphics with a big picture of a bloke in overalls grinning like a loon!

They were probably on that thing with Craig Charles and all, but I can't bear to look.


The Genesis of Stomp: leading players talk about the collective's formative years, including the moment one of them saw the start of the video for Down Under by Men at Work and thought: 'I'll have that!'

A downloadable PDF of Stomp's secret plan to infiltrate and destroy the Tap Dogs, The Blue Man Group, Cirque De Soileil and any other quirky-yet-Royal-Command-friendly novelty act on the planet by 2009!

Over To You! The Stomp ethos is all about joining in (after you've purchased the official product), so here's a step-by-step guide on how to go about setting up your own tappity-tap refuse collective. Includes tips on dustbin lid-sexing, and how to choreograph those routines where one of you walks about pretending to look bored, then starts flicking at a tin can or something, and the rest of the team leap up one by one to add to the spontaneous fun. Plus how to clear Covent Garden market of all shoppers in under ten minutes!


A Kitten in a Brandy Glass said...

Dustbin lid-sexing? Is that like tortoise-sexing, so the ones that are concave underneath are boys? In which case, where are all the girl dustbin lids hiding?

(Also, I worry that dustbin lid-sexing may be probably rhyming slang for something horrid. I fear for your Google searches, I really do...)

Phil Norman said...

You're right, it is getting a bit bawdy in here, isn't it? I'll open up a widow.

Five-Centres said...

I'm doing this as we speak. I'm bringing a troupe to the TVCream Christmas do.

Matthew Rudd said...

Awesome typo - if I opened up a widow, I'd expect it to get more bawdy, not less....

FeedbackReport said...

You missed out one humdinger of an extra - the episode of 3rd Rock From The Sun where Dick, Dr Albright and Nina 'do' Stomp upstairs to annoy Mrs Dubcek.

Steve said...

I'm disappointed that this doesn't include TV's (Linford's) Record Breakers' attempt to break the most-people-banging-dustbin-lids Guiness World Record in 1999. It was 'round the fountain in TV Centre and everything!